Apology to President Obama
Dear President Obama,
I am sorry it took me 24 hours to send this letter of apology.
I was busy overcoming my shock at your being recognized as the modern World Pied Piper and being invited to Oslo to accept such recognition from your bowing subjects.
I must confess that I have been of the opinion that you were a two-bit hood from Chicago with the closest definition of your profession as being that of a pick pocket, collecting tax dollars.
I know that I have been busy since your election in cleaning my 12-gauge shotguns, going to gun shows, and mingling with the red-neck commoners who are also preparing for your assault on their Second Amendment personal liberties.
I do apologize for having the audacity of hope that I might be able to defend my family and my property from any of those entitled subjects that do feel that you have not adequately provided for them.
I have also been busy in hunkering down with my finances, because I know that you are certain that I have not been doing my fair share for the entitled subjects, and for my efforts, and in light of your newly exalted position in the world of nations, I can almost see the error of my ways, even though I have spent a lifetime taking care of my family myself without one penny from any of your czars; for these efforts, and in light of the recognition you now have, maybe I have been too harsh on the entitled subjects for insisting that each of them contribute to the great country I was born into.
And I am seriously reconsidering how I view the military and all my fellow veterans and gladly paying my tax dollars to maintain and support military people who volunteer to work for me for lousy salaries and even lousier working conditions.
I apologize for the feeling I have carried with me my entire adult life for being a veteran.
Your nomination, after my initial shock, leads me to wonder how that nomination can be used to disabuse me of my wrong-headed thinking about the military.
Finally, I must confess that I am old, and while I still pay huge sums of monies to your most altruistic goals for all the entitled subjects, I do apologize for just not sending all my money for redistribution to the entitled subjects, according to your wishes, particularly now that you have been recognized as being right up there with Mother Teresa.
If I can just get used to the idea of being expendable at my age in
your new world order, perhaps my apologies and transformation to dutiful servant will be almost complete.
However, it is most difficult. I still have employees to take care of.
I still feel the responsibility for my family. I still have to meet a payroll.
I have property taxes to pay, twice a year, and in
Goffstown, they are hefty. I have quarterly taxes that have to be paid, based on last year's income, never mind any downturn.
And I have all kinds of new state taxes to pay. What do I do to absorb the impacts of all your decisions that as a mere mortal I just don't seem to understand, let alone figure out how I am going to help you pay for?
In the meantime, enjoy your Nobel, and could I make one request?
How about taking your Nobel with you and go back to Chicago at the earliest possible moment.